Okay so for maybe the past 3 days I've actually been having dreams which is unusual for me, I dream once in a blue moon

First dream was that I was just chilling with Til Lindemann, who's the lead singer for this underground band idk any of you have heard of, Rammstein

I can't remember much from that one so idk what circumstances led up to me meeting him but we were in fact chilling and vibing

Literally just hung out with that guy in that dream

The next dream was more of a nightmare but my actions were really stupid for the scenario

So like, I knew for a fact I was pregnant, but I decided to take Plan B even though that's only gonna work within 72 hours of unprotected sex and not like when you're already pregnant

The rest of that dream was just looking into straight abortion but honestly my fear of pregnancy is invading my dreams now

Maybe it's my subconscious telling me I need to get birth control already

The next dream I had kicked it into fucking high gear though

So there was this guy who I guess was a humanoid snake, he had black hair, green skin, and the most baffling piece wasn't that, it was that he also had a really nice red suit?

There was another guy and girl whose names I didn't get or remember, in fact idk snake guy's name either, and what they were doing were busting the snake guy out of a mental hospital

Like Red 2 type shit

Snake guy also is like my kinda guy because he had the ability to shapeshift, and could capture people perfectly like an exact copy

So at one point he shapeshifted into the girl right? And he was like sarcastically taunting her about "oh you're perfect but if only your tits were bigger" and he just like

Grew fatter fuckin tiddies right there and she was furious ofc

The rest is a blur but that's about what I remember

anyway uh my dreams been wildin lately

I guess it's a good sign since this means I'm having REM sleep

So it's midterms at school (hence why my activity has trickled to a minimum oops-) and it's really been taking a toll on me

I think tonight I might be staying up to lord knows when to finish work. Some of it's been pure procrastination and old habits I never broke but just as much is the amount of work I've had to do for each class. For perspective, I'm a full time student and I take a couple 400 level classes. I often have ended up only being able to work on assignments the night before or the day it's due, and I've also turned in work that I know will get ripped to shreds because I simply had to show something in an unreasonable amount of time. Just today, I got back the book project from my Typography teacher that I and all the other students have been working on since the first week of class. I knew it wasn't perfect, but I know I had some leeway because this is Type 2 and I'd really not had any formal typography class, printed a whole book, etc. I turned it in and I was kind of proud I saw it through. I would have been fine with a low B, but when I got it back today, it was a C+. And now that grade is in my midterm grade, and I really don't have much wiggle room as far as grading goes. I hope to god the next project bumps me up, but that's really just bringing the book to a digital format (web and mobile). I've been told that this won't really matter in the long run, but my confidence about this class was really shattered today. Not helping is that I caught a glimpse of one of the other girls' books and hers was a 90...and our professor said that the class had really strong books to put in our portfolios.

What blows me out of my asshole is that my advisor thought that I would be fine in a second-level class without having the first level. I'm clearly not fine here but I really can't get out of this class this far in. I feel like I'd be disappointing my parents and the professor, and I'd also just feel like I'm really stupid for thinking I could live up to a standard that I'll never be able to.

Also, this weekend, I quite literally busted my ass by falling right on it when I fell down the stairs at my grandparents. I felt like I bruised my tailbone from it and it genuinely hurt to sit for a few days. I couldn't sit for long periods of time to work on anything until today, really. I still feel slightly uh...butthurt, in a literal way, but I just hope the bruise on the peach is healing normally.

I am so sick of feeling like everything is just going to come unfurled. The thing I fear the most is breaking down in front of a professor, and I feel like it might happen if they raise their voice at me or talk condescendingly when I'm at my wits end. I want just one day where I can truly fuck off and not do shit all day, but I don't think I've had more than a couple hours to take breaks to rest, shower, or eat.

Anyway fuck a design major, fuck how everyone requires a bachelors degree over actual experience in the field, fuck how much work professors are deluded into thinking us students can do, and fuck getting my asshole reamed by my grandparents' stairs

So today was my orientation at university for my bachelor's degree and I am just so happy to have the hardest part over. I'm all registered, I have my student ID, I got my loans and all done, and I just...feel so happy that I'm here finally.

Also I got my books ordered and it's kind of a funny story; so my dad went with me today and he just said "I hope your books are only ten bucks." I didn't think that it would be, as I'm a graphic design major going onto an internship (hopefully) and in my years of going to community college, the books for my studies are always through the roof price wise and I could never rent them, get an e-book version or even get them used.

So we go to the library and we look up all my classes to get all my books and...I only had one book required that was $13

I have never had to pay that little for textbooks during a semester so my dad was almost crying in the library and thanking god for it

I also have a really good person from the graphic design department advising me, he knew the department head from my community college and was glad that I already had all my entry-level classes for GDT done

I have classes on Wednesday-Thursday and my Fridays and weekends are free :D

I have another orientation the Friday before classes start in August and I'm looking forward to it! I'll be going back frequently til then to familiarize myself with the area and the campus itself, and I'll have to talk to the Disability Support people; although I hope to not need any accommodations, I'd rather be safe than sorry

I'm looking forward to trying to intern, I couldn't do it this semester even if I was ready because I doubt first-semester students rarely get those but I'll be able to get more experience til then!

Okay so I've been on Reddit for a couple years now and in my entire history on the site I haven't had a drawing removed once...until today

The only other time a post of mine got any flak was when one commission subreddit claimed I was low-balling my prices to undercut other artists, even though I thought that's what my art was worth and I was terrified to raise my prices until much later, but even then it remained up

So last night I posted the Araime drawing I did to r/art, and I noticed first off that I got 3 notifications on my phone but each time I went to respond to them Reddit wouldn't let me see the comments from the app or the desktop version...ok

Then today a mod took down the post, giving me the reason that my drawing wasn't allowed because it was "a meme or low quality work":

Could you have....pointed me to where exactly my drawing is a meme or a fucking MS Paint drawing???

It's not even for a NSFW reason since NSFW art is allowed but...the fuck is this? I'd like to meet whoever called my art a low quality meme and kick the shit out of their tiny nuts and micropenis

I still feel like it's just asshole mods taking down art just 'cause

I didn't even break any rules so I just don't understand

I left r/art and I'm just gonna stick to subs where my art doesn't get taken down for dumbass reasons

So I know that other artists that draw NSFW like I do probably face this on some level and I think it's something that needs to be addressed

One of the worst things about being a "porn artist" besides all the other stigma and not being taken seriously is that my completely inoffensive, SFW art gets scrutinized and called sexual too

What's worse for me, especially recently, but in the past as well, is that a good chunk of my SFW art features young children. May I remind you these children are always fully clothed, never nude at all, and going on SFW, non-sexual adventures

Still, this SAFE FOR WORK art has gotten me accused of supporting pedophilia, which, I dunno if you could tell but I absolutely do not condone pedophilia in the slightest

Even if it's said as a joke, it's a really horrible joke and makes me want to block, report, cut off, and call out people I've known for years

I really implore people to not joke about this, not just to me but to my fellow NSFW artists. I have a hunch that we're like-minded individuals and that we do not appreciate being called deviant pedophiles or supporters of other crimes. We're people that just like to draw sexual things, we don't want to come under fire for our SFW, general artwork. Bottom line, we are just people, just like you people that call us sick for drawing SFW.

I know that there's also a problem with false flagging of art but that's another post for another time

TL;DR: Stop saying that when a porn artist draws SFW that it is sexual in any way or supports rape, abuse, pedophilia, etc. even as a joke. It's super hurtful and makes us all very upset and more likely to close ourselves off from online communities. If it offends you, just block us and move on. Other people enjoy it, leave us alone and keep that shit to yourself.

I graduate tomorrow morning, and I have the practice for it tonight!

I don't talk about it much but if you told me after I almost flunked my first semester that I'd graduate this year, I wouldn't have believed you. I was told by everyone in my personal life that it was all my fault and that I was on the track to go right back to being institutionalized which made me feel awful. I hate being seen as only a mentally ill freak and no one in my life was helping.

So I can't say for sure what got me turned around, but I'm guessing it was just that I wanted to throw up a big middle finger to my abusive, manipulative family and say that I'm more than a bipolar loser. I'm very happy to be graduating and I'm very happy that I've stood up to my abusers and told them I'm not taking that shit anymore.

I continue at another university in the fall for another two years, my next step is moving out on my own and going no contact with my parents, as they're the one thing that still holds me back. I feel good to be finally done with this shit after all this time :)

I've decided to edit my commission prices to make them more fair to me and the work that I put in. I hope that's understandable.

I've got some commissions open! I've got examples of my work below as well as my Terms and my prices! Please consider commissioning me! Also, please read through all my terms before commissioning me! Thanks!

RULES

WHAT I WILL DRAW: NSFW, mild gore, anime, OCs (mine or your own), fanart

WHAT I WILL NOT DRAW: Anything with illegal elements (such as child pornography or bestiality), full - blown furries or scalies (not referring to humanoid characters with animal features!), excessive gore, art that promotes hate or witch hunts someone

LEGALITIES

I. General

When requesting a commission, be concise, yet crystal clear about what you want! Send me as many references as you can, and as a general rule of thumb, a wall of images is better than a wall of text. If you exhibit any behavior that isn't professional, I will decline the commission. Follow all rules I've listed above and you should be fine.

II. Payment Methods

I accept USD (United States Dollars) [$] through PayPal transactions. I can accept no other currency at this time, and I expect commissioners to convert their currency at checkout. Full payment is accepted up front before I start any commissions.

III. Process

I'll do my best to give you updates on my progress, whether through here or through another means of communication. I will give updates in writing or through low-res, watermarked WIPs if the piece is taking longer than normal until the piece is finished. I'm going to communicate with you to the best of my ability to ensure I am creating exactly what you want. I will do my best to update if something is preventing me from delivering by the due date, etc. The time that it takes to do a commission depends on the piece, but I will try not to take longer than 3 months on one piece, and the average piece should take between 1-3 days. Factors like how many commissions I'm taking at a time should be considered when you commission me, be sure to ask how many slots are already filled!

IV. Customer Satisfaction

I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure that every customer that commissions me is 100% satisfied. After a commission is finished, ONLY MINOR CHANGES are allotted without an additional fee. This includes but is not limited to small coloring/lining mistakes. If you want anything significantly greater than that to be changed, it will be extra, no exceptions. This includes but is not limited to an outfit change, outfit addition or subtraction, background change or anything that makes me have to redraw it completely.  If your reference was not clear from the start, you are not allowed minor changes without a fee. It is detrimental that you have a clear reference and know exactly what you want when you commission me.

V. Copyright/Usage Policy

I hold all the rights to every drawing I make, not the commissioner. This means I am allowed to use the copyrighted artwork for:

- Promoting myself with in any place or site

- Publishing books

- Display it anywhere to my liking.

- Post it wherever I want

The commissioner is allowed to:

- Use the copyrighted artwork for personal use only unless agreed otherwise

- Print the art, and claim the right of their character(s) but not the drawing itself

- Use the art to promote themselves with proper credit given to the artist

If you break the copyright infringement in any way, every right you had to the drawing will be retracted.

The following is considered Copyright infringement:

Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially. (Meaning making money off it in any way)

Taking Credit for the creation of the artwork.

Removing any watermarks/signatures. 

Altering the artwork without my, the artist's, consent.

A Purchase of Commercial rights to the artwork will always be 300% of original price.

With commercial rights you are allowed to make any sort of merchandise with the artwork.

Use it in books, covers, as props, change it to your liking and promote your own brand with it.

Credit is still required for usage of the artwork, even if altered or edited.

VI. Cancelling/Refund Policy

I have the right to decline or cancel and refund the money for a commission at any time.

You have no right to cancel or demand a refund from the artist under any circumstances after payment has been made.

If money has not yet been sent the commissioner has the right to cancel the commission.

If you file a chargeback against me, your right to everything I have ever made for you will be retracted and I have the right to sell the copyrighted artwork to new buyers.

You will forbidden to ever commission me (GraySlate) again.

Your name will be publicly posted everywhere I want for others to watch out for. 

I also have every right to file a complaint and I have all the right to the money you have given me.

Any questions and/or concerns should be brought to me (GraySlate) when first requesting a commission.

PRICES

BUST-UP

$15, fully colored and shaded, add another $5 for additional characters

Examples:

Examples:

WAIST-UP

$20, fully colored and shaded, add another $8 for any additional characters

Examples:

Examples:

FULL BODY

$25, fully colored and shaded, add another $10 for any additional characters

Examples:

Examples:

REFERENCE SHEET:

$30, fully colored and shaded, full body of the character, $5 for EACH extra, i.e. bust-up closeup, back, description, $2 for JUST info boxes

Examples: 

Examples:

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I hope you commission me!

Hey there! I was meaning to do this around the time Tumblr banned all adult content but I am very lazy :'D

My name is Nikki! I'm a 19 year old female graphic design student, and I'm almost done with my second year of community college, so I'll have my associates at the end of this semester! Aside from doing graphic design stuff for class, I really enjoy drawing my copious amounts of original characters as well as fanart! I use the singing synth softwares Vocaloid and UTAU frequently and from time to time, I make original songs as well! My long term goal is to be able to have art as my career so I can quit working retail ;-;

I'm very jazzed to be able to have another community to interact with and a solid place to drop my NSFW stuff (Thanks for dropping that, Tumblr)! I hope to meet some of you all and support you in your adventures! ^u^