I have something really upsetting to say and it sucks to talk about it because I don't have anyone close to me IRL that I can reach out to about these things so ofc I turn to people I've never met face to face for strength and reassurance 

I implore you to read the whole thing, as I know this might come off as me being a spoiled child, but it's got more to it than that takeaway 

So I've been asking about getting a new phone for a while, my current phone, until recently, had a broken camera and a completely cracked screen. I could live with the screen and I barely notice it now (come to think of it it's probably the screen protector that's cracked) but I take photos a lot for myself and also for class. It's just really inconvenient for me to grab my crappy little Canon Powershot and deal with how much that stupid thing shakes and only then transfer my photos from the sim card to my computer and/or to my phone from there.

Our first plan, getting the old phone of a family friend to replace mine, didn't work out because the phone was under AT&T and mine is under Verizon, so it wouldn't let the SIM card be activated. I was kinda bummed because our other option would be buying another iPhone 6 off Gazelle, and that'd mean I wouldn't get the things I actually asked for on my Christmas list.  

So I was fully prepared to just scrape by with my current phone as a compromise, until my dad says we're all eligible to upgrade the whole family to iPhone 11's with T mobile. I expressed that I didn't want to get an iPhone 11, mostly because those don't have a headphone jack. I can't use Bluetooth in my car because the module in mine is destroyed and it would have to be sent back to Dodge and I just don't have the time. I rely on the aux cord to play my music and use GPS because I'm bad with directions and barely know how to get anywhere.

Dad's obviously into it for how much we save a month, but I say to him that I just want a 6, and I made it pretty clear I'm not budging on that. Seemingly out of nowhere, my dad stomps over to me, backs me into a corner, gets in my face to yell at me, points his finger at me, and makes me feel like I'm going to get hit. He rants about how I need an attitude adjustment, I'm upgrading with the family or else, and that my only other option is to get my own phone on my own plan myself. He knows I can't do that second option because I don't have a job right now since I'm (almost done with being) a full-time student, and my class load was too much with trying to balance work.  

That was the most intimated and frightened I think I've ever been of my dad. He's yelled at me and intimidated me before but one thing I felt sure of until today was that he'd never hit me or my brother or really anyone. Tonight, I felt like I was about to take a swing from him, which would probably put me in the hospital since my dad is an ex-powerlifter and a veteran. The kicker though was that my mom, who's a piece of work in her own right, completely let this slide and didn't do shit while dad was one step away from whipping me with his belt.

I held in everything as I took my stuff up to my room and I just cried once the lights were off and the noise machine was cranked up all the way. I couldn't stop shaking and I forced myself to scream into my pillow so I wouldn't alert my parents. I felt helpless because I have few friends that live close to me, so no one can take me in or help me that I know of. I feel like if I don't get out of this hellhole, I'm going to die, and it'll be by my own hands.

Honestly, I don't know why my dad chose this to get so bent out of shape over, it's literally not that deep, it's just about phones for god's sake. Regardless, if that little thing got blown out of proportion, I don't wanna stick around for what else might happen. I don't feel safe in my house; before I was just fed up with my mom's mind games, emotional abuse, and manipulation, but now I'm fearing for my physical safety as well, something I haven't really before, and I need to get out of here now.

Tomorrow I want to have a pretty big conversation with my dad, where I'll tell him essentially that if he ever gets in my face yelling and backing me into a corner making me think I'll get hit again, I will 100% call the cops on him and have him arrested. His behavior is unacceptable. He has a lot of nerve telling me that my attitude is awful when he's cornering his daughter like an animal. I can't believe I have to lay these ground rules out with my father but apparently I'm the only one that's gonna keep him in line.

All this happens during finals week of course, so it's only stress after stress after stress.

I have no idea what I'm going to do and I know that I'll just be expected to act like that never happened, but this really is spurring me into finding a job over the holidays and getting an apartment of my own.