Guess who I just got ;)

It’s my birthday today!

I don't really use this enough, I think. No matter. I think I'll try to use it more but no promises. I went to urgent care today because I had this cyst under my boob. I wasn't too worried, I've had random cysts before but this one was noticeably more inflamed than ones I've had. I spent a couple hours at urgent care and it turns out that "cyst" is actually a MRSA infection. I don't know where I got MRSA from (afaik that's hard to get outside a hospital setting and I haven't been there in years) but I've got it now. It's in an inconvenient spot so I'm mostly annoyed. I've got a pill to take every 12 hours and an ointment to put on 3 times a day. I just have to keep an eye on it to see if it gets worse or doesn't improve. I appreciate it decided to lodge up in my breast. I guess MRSA thought it would be roomy? Oh well.

I spent a lot of money getting my MRSA probed so if you wanna help me recuperate costs, you can do a one time donation or commission me on Ko-Fi (if you want to)

TL;DR boob go owie :)

While it's still the 4th, Happy Star Wars Day! I'll try to use this feature more but I don't really blog on my dA or anything so, whoops. I tend to just blab to my friends, I don't even tweet besides posting content these days.

So I don't really come on here that often already, I'm bad about posting to Newgrounds and for that, I apologize. One of the bigger reasons I've been away for a while is because my dad passed away last month. I've been dealing with the aftermath of all that by distracting myself with work and creative stuff. If I do nothing, I dwell on things too much.

That's basically the shortest summation I can give. I'm just not in the holiday spirit because of it. It hasn't felt like Christmas all month.

I don't really have much to ask, other than we do have a gofundme for the funeral expenses. I really don't ask for charity otherwise, I just feel awful about asking.

Dad's gofundme

I hope you guys have a nice Christmas weekend.

It all came in a bit late but I've finally wrapped up Sextober for this year! I'm glad I was able to get this one out, given that I got horribly sick most of this month.

I've also made sure to link all the previous/next day links correctly, please let me know if there's any that are wrong or missing!

Start from the beginning here!

So contrary to what people might believe, I don't really like wasting my time with clapping back at hate comments, from here or any other site. They're intended to be nasty and crafted to get a rise out of me, and it's just not worth my time to rant about every mean comment I get. However, this is one where I have to waste time (and brain cells) to discuss because this person gave me quite a bit to work with. I also have to defend myself over something pretty ridiculous, so...there's that.

This comment was left under my most recent drawing of Eros and Psyche:

Uh...huh...okay, there's a lot goin' on here. Now, yes, I did say this in the caption:

So I don't 100% follow the myth of the Golden Ass when it comes to Eros and Psyche, but I don't really care? If you cry "but the canon waaah" when it comes to GREEK MYTHOLOGY, I respectfully ask you to go to hell. I don't give a shit about an already inconsistent and hard-to-follow canon when I can make Psyche a dommy mommy milf. Fuck you. Respectfully ❤️

I put fucking whatever in my captions because honestly? Who the fuck on Newgrounds is reading captions besides This Fucking Guy? I have a theory that if I have a long caption, it's going to get rated poorly to oblivion just because I like using long captions. It's just funny to me that people get enraged over having to read on the Internet, which is why I do it. Also...It's pretty easy to see I'm FUCKING JOKING in this caption. I have an edgelord sense of humor. I still laugh at YTPs made in 2009. But I'm literally ending it off with a heart emoji! I don't use emojis when I'm serious! It's not rocket science to figure this out, on god.

I don't bash other people if they want to follow Greek Mythology to a T, actually (Which is fairly hard to do considering the "canon" is very inconsistent due to its age and the fact so many people were writing it without communicating with each other, they all tended to disagree, etc.). But, other people have bashed and continue to bash me for what changes I make. Like this guy. Literally the second after his overreaction to my somewhat edgy paragraph, he goes "Um....Psyche doesn't have a dick :/ what the fuck." "You do you" is also one of the most passive-aggressive phrases that exists. A certain abusive so-and-so said that to me quite a bit! It's quite rude, at least, in my humblest of opinions. Psyche can be whatever I want her to be because she's a fictional character. So can Eros. Ever think of that, genius?

Gotta love also how he says I'm giving people constructive criticism? I...am not...obviously, and I never said I was. I have no idea what other people do with Greek god public domain characters, nor do I fucking care. And...yet again, immediately after, he goes and gives me critique I wasn't asking for. Is this the best drawing of Eros and Psyche I've ever done? No, hell no. It was rushed to meet my deadlines for Sextober, I went into it without a plan, and I'll probably be redrawing something similar to it in the future. Hell, when have I ever even positioned myself as The Best Artist To Ever Grace The Planet? Besides never? I'm not really that good of an artist and I don't really have a high opinion of myself, so it's just odd that this guy seems to be drawing a conclusion out of his ass from a CLEARLY sarcastic caption.

Well, how can I "drop the attitude" when...it was a fucking joke? That you sorely missed? I dunno, dude. If anything, this is fueling me to have more of an attitude. Acting like you're my fuckin' father scolding me isn't gonna get me to go "oh no I'm so sowwy :'c" it's just gonna...remind me of my shitty father? It changes nothing when you act like this in my comments. It's a one-way ticket to getting yourself blocked, is all.

I know my sense of humor, content, personality, etc. can be too much for some people. I put a lot of people off, but that's just...not really my problem. I don't care about pleasing anyone or even at this point being uwu positive niceboi all the time. I'm just fully embracing the villain arc of my persona at this point. I'm also playing up a character, especially in videos, which I think people tend to forget. I assure you I am much more normal and tolerable in real life. I am also more tolerant of people that show respect to me first, hmm! Curious...

If you are gonna comment something critical or hateful on my pieces, at least be funnier than this guy? Maybe don't remind people of how their parents are abusive? Just maybe, just a thought.

I have blocked this user cause I just don't wanna entertain this weirdo anymore. I've got a lot going on in my real-world, personal life that needs to be tended to (which, by the way, this past month has had me locked in Purgatory, I should recap that too some time). I am...telling him to touch grass in other words.

So in conclusion, I guess, whatever you're doing is better than this guy trying to waggle his finger at me for saying naughty words online. It's 5 in the morning, 'tis my bedtime. Goodnight. Also, if you get anal about long descriptions on Newgrounds, you're the weakest link. Respectfully ❤️

That was a relief to say.

Already? It doesn't even feel that long, time really does fly by!

I'm happy to have found a place on here; I was originally inspired by the infamous Tumblr NSFW content ban to post on here and, well, I haven't left yet

I'm glad that Newgrounds has survived this long, other sites I'm on can't exactly say the same. For instance, DeviantArt is a hollowed-out shell of what it used to be because of the shitty site changes, poor moderation, and just never listening to its userbase. I'm glad to have at least one space left to post my uncensored work, it just seems those are dwindling in recent times :'D

Very pleased to still be here and have other people I can share the stuff I enjoy with!

Yeah I know, the title isn't the most clever nor my best, but I think it's the best descriptor of what I'm gonna talk about tonight.

I don't think I've really made it that much of a secret as everything about me is almost always going to become public knowledge, but I am a LaVeyan Satanist. If that's your first time learning this, welcome. I won't go into huge detail about what that is, The Church of Satan is carrying that torch for me just fine, but in a nutshell, LaVeyan Satanism is an atheistic religion (though religion is used very loosely, I'd call it more an anti-religion than anything) that uses the figure of Satan as a symbol of the core values of the practitioners. I follow the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth, the Nine Tenets of Satanism, and though I don't have the Satanic Bible, I'll purchase it in the future as it's a $10.99 paperback. Might even get the sick CoS membership card later on in life as well.

That's a very cursory explanation of what Satanism is and I'd be more than happy to provide more information, but that's not the focus of what I'm writing about now. I'm talking about what I can only call Satan-shaming. This is a goofy term I coined for what I've been experiencing from not only ill-informed strangers, but from my closest friends as well. In essence, Satan-shaming is a phenomenon that occurs when I bring up Satanism in any context, and without fail, someone I know will either make a quip or an extensive rant about how LaVeyan Satanism is nothing but edgy garbage.

While I understand that yes, there are other Satanists that - I'm sure - go out of their way to harass religious people and they might be reeling from that, I'm a bit at a loss as to why I get thrown under the bus so hard. I never have time to explain why I chose this religion, why I like the rules and tenets, I just get bombarded with the sentiment that Satanism is edgy bullshit.

Like I said before, it's one thing to hear this from strangers who are just, to put it bluntly, dumber than a box of tacks, but it's a total other thing to hear Satanism is the religion of those with a low IQ from people I consider friends. I'm going to get a bit personal here and fill you in on some backstory about me and why I chose to follow LaVey's teachings. I've gone into this before; my parents, especially my mother, are abusive people. They are also very hardcore conservative evangelical Christians. To condense the two decades I've been alive, I became jaded and distant from Christianity, not only because of the bigotry and abuse I faced from my parents, but because I was taking issue with the Bible and Abrahamic religion in general. If you've been raised Christian or even religious, you're gonna know what I'm talking about when I say that I wasn't allowed to question anything. I wasn't allowed to have philosophical debates (which is something I actually like to do), I was just supposed to believe in something without question and blindly believe in something that I couldn't see. It got worse when I was institutionalized in 2017 and I peaked in my "I'm so sick and fucking tired of hearing 'just pray!' when I literally have a mental disorder that won't go away because of sky daddy" beliefs. I was already on the road to being an atheist already because I just couldn't agree with the religion in good faith (no pun intended)...and then LaVeyan Satanism shows up.

I had been off-and-on again with Satanism up until, I'd say...2018? I had already been distancing myself from Christianity, I stopped being forced to go to church (thank..Satan?) and when I re-read the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth, I cemented that this was going to be the set of beliefs I wanted to maintain for my life going forward. It was a very personal decision and a very cathartic one. I felt like I was really discovering myself and I was finally able to choose something to follow for myself, as opposed to being forced into a belief that was, in my eyes, a shield and fall-back for discriminating against others and prejudice against marginalized people.

When I get told my beliefs are just edgy poser shit, I take it more personally than I honestly should. It's something that really gets to me considering how close I want to follow these rules and tenets, and I really hate that even my friends want to shit on me for it. I know it's probably that I'm just too sensitive about something that doesn't matter, but I really do wish my friends would stop assuming shit about something that's very personal and dear to me in my journey as a person. I really wish they'd sit down and just talk with me about what I believe and why instead of insulting my intelligence or laughing at me. It's starting to wear me down and honestly? It really hurts.

Lmao as a joke I wanted to see if you could rate your own pieces so I hit 5 star on one of mine and I didn’t realize it at first but that was the one vote it needed to show the rating

Turns out y’all thought it was middling